Loving Bravely by Alexandra H. Solomon

Author:Alexandra H. Solomon
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Tags: FAM029000 Family & Relationships / Love & Romance, FAM030000 Family & Relationships / Marriage & Long Term Relationships, SEL031000 Self-help / Personal Growth / General
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

Love Your Body

Body image concerns pull you out of your present-moment experience, dampening the pleasures of sex. Celebrating the body you live in, exactly as it is today, can help you leave your self-critical voice behind so you can show up for fun! Our minds and bodies are intricately connected, so judgmental thoughts about yourself—“My belly is too fat”; “My hips are too wide”—get in the way of physical pleasure. Stopping negative self-talk is easier said than done, but recognizing that you are having negative thoughts is a vital first step! You are not your thoughts, so start by naming negative thoughts as they creep in during sex. For example, you have the thought, “My belly is so fat.” Train yourself to have this thought next: “I am not the negative thought I just had.”

Once you have recognized that you are having a negative thought, you can make the choice to transform it. You will have to play around and see what works for you. Perhaps imagine plucking the negative thought like a weed and sending it down a river. Replace the thought with a loving and affirming thought about yourself (such as “I am strong,” “I am worthy,” or “I am beautiful”), and bring your attention back to the present moment. Feel your partner’s skin against yours. Focus on where your body is feeling pleasure, and imagine that feeling growing and spreading through your body. When it comes to sex, there are plenty of exciting places to put your attention—places more worthy of your attention than negative self talk!

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